He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
