No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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