You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
