Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
