dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
