Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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