Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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