i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
