Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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