I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
