I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
