i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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