I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
