What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Someone shattered a urinal.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
