So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
