yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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