you would pick up someone in the library
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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