I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
