Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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