So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize