im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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