Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
