You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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