Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize