Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize