My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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