come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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