I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize