Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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