Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize