Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm both gender and math confused
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
