I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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