i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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