first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
