The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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