he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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