I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
