did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
