i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
