I just threw up on my dentist
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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