so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
