Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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