Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
