So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
