med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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