Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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