I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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