shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i believe in u and ur pee
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize