Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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