Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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