that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
