Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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