I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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