so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
