i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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