I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
