worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
