Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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