Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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