Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
