oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
