So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
