I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
