Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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