Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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