in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we're making bets on your personal life
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
