waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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