I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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