he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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