I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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